Wednesday, January 12, 2011
first day of self disciple.
it really tired. and make me wan to quit and give up.
i'm really wanted to run away.
but to have responsible.
spoke at : 9:17:00 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
i'm so lazy, idiot, no mind, no disciple, liaier.
it because of lazy, lazy lazy. you are a idiot, very idiot... don't dare to admit mistake. you are really a idiot. a blasted. i really can't stand myself, i'm so angry and disappointed with myself. it only the start of the year. and i'm so lazy and selfish, i really can't stand that i'm idiot.
what can i do? so i punish myself to jog longer, no stoping for myself. i'm really very angry and disappointed.
i punish myself i cannot be late and sleep during working hour and jog every tue and thursday, 4 round each time.
My target this year:
- sailing race - byte
- diving trip to manado
- climb mountain.
- slim to 75kg.
to hit:
- disciple
- disciple and
- disciple
spoke at : 9:04:00 PM
angry day
it really not my day. why am i so angry?
i had no motor to ride today. so i need to take bus back home. it took 1.30hr from office to home... during the trip, i can't sleep i can't do anything.
so the whole trip, i'm blameing scolding in my heart. really very angry.
very angry with myself. i'm a very selfish person. everytime only know to say people and i'm not not doing it. i'm scolding myself, why am i so idiot and selfish.
spoilt my mood end of the day~~
this lesson tell me. don't blame and scold others, cause i'm one of them. one of the idiot and selfish person. this teach me to lay off, must lay off.
if lay off all the idea and anger, i will not be in bad mood in the day.
spoke at : 8:48:00 PM
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
every night i hope, i can have a hug a gd night kiss to sleep. or someone will ask or talk to me everyday, share what happen and think what to do for next day or a meet out everyday.
i think i'm going to have a challenge for myself. what challenge, actually is not really tough, i have done it in the pass... i want to go phuket or khrabi in the next few month by myself.
why should i wait for people, and hope that people will enjoy like me, going a short and cheap trip.
by june, if i really got a bf, i want to go to trip with him. is a challenge to both. trying out the living and acceptable rate. hahaha because i'm a very rare and werid girl, not much people know me and like me. hahaha..
i believe my thinking is really very vintage not even very, is extrem. hahaha
spoke at : 11:20:00 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
what do you have? what do i have?
everyone must have self disciple. i can achieve target by using self disciple and determination.
but i believe most of the achievement is by having self disciple.
without self disciple i will be lazy
without self disciple i will spend all my money
without self disciple i will not go work
without self disciple i will not be punctual for work
without self disciple i will not go jogging
so self disciple is to manage time and determination too...
nowadays i think most of the children don't have this, children which have self diciple they are very intelligent.
spoke at : 11:02:00 PM
confident needed
today i went to sailing... got a strong wind day~~ it like 14 not~~
it really extremly scary. i can't manage the strong wind.
every wind is a strength,
every turning is a fall,
every fall is a grow,
every timing is difference.
first time having such a strong wind, by this sailing boat - byte.
it really make me stress, tired and bleed.
2nd practice with strong wind, it only just a begining.
i believe i can make it, to the competition.
spoke at : 10:51:00 PM