depression....
i hate this kind of feeling... hate myself. now i have doubt... do i really do wrong? or it just a perfect thing or not... why?
i'm really hate myself, hate this kind of feeling.
disappointed, depression, feel like escaping... i'm tired...
feeling crying, feel so useless, and hopeless now... hai~~
why? i have a lot of why... who can answer my why?
i ask god everything and everytime. i don't understand why i do this and that. is it the right way or wrong. it always a doubt... why why why
when thing happen it jus my fault. it really my fault. my fault... feel so bad and sad... i wanted to alone and silence in this world. feel lost. feel that no people care about me. i'm useless... doing a job which make me feel like idiot and useless. i'm a idiot? i really can't get thing done? i'm hopeless.. a person which are lazy and useless... very selfish person i am. i always ask myself what am i? what i wan? what i can do? can you don't be lazy? i'm staying in this comfort zone for too long. idiot... so when thing happen i jus want to escape. why you think of solution? so this is me. a very lazy, hopeless, selfish and irresponsible person.
jus now i was thinking, do i have friend? a friend to share happiness saddness? now my answer
my family to share my happiness. what about sadness? i think only blogger is a place a friend to share it. i feel so sad now... i don't have any friend to share my feeling. not don't have, have but we are not in the same level. they don't understand it. i try talking about it with them but the answer is not really i wan? it really bad to say this... but i really don't cure me and end up i'm more upset. hai~~
when will this over? i'm useless.....
spoke at : 12:16:00 PM